Isolationism

As the candidate representing Queensland...
Sorry No, I am the candidate for all Australians!
How do you plan to deal with our economic woes?
We will put our unemployed to work at building  a wall.
A wall?
Yes, a great wall! Made of blocks of coal! Around Queensland! Australia!
A black block wall?
Yes!! And the unemployed will paint it white, and put the skeletons of fossilized dinosaurs atop it.
Sort of white wash the problem?
And we will dress our gladiators in brown and gold and they will hurl spears of sugar cane from the top of the wall down at the approaching hoards who want to invade our land of plenty.... and soon nobody will want to come here...
True.

Mistaken Identity

I would like to ask you about climate change.
Oh, I just want to talk about “boat people”.
Won’t you talk about our manufacturing industry?
No, I just want to talk about “boat people”.
Why can’t we talk about education, research and development, maybe housing or the aging population?
Because I just want to talk about “boat people”.
OK, so tell me what you are going to do about “boat people”....
Well to begin with I am going to eradicate poverty, starvation and extreme inequality, educate people to tolerate difference and live together in harmony and stop wars so people will be happy to live wherever they are....
Oh, that doesn't sound like your party’s policy!
Sorry, I’m not the candidate! I’m his sound engineer!

Your Interests at Heart

Vote for us, we have your interests at heart.

How do you know my interests?

I am just like you!

Well I am white, middle class, own my own home, car, boat and holiday home, manage a medium sized business, send my children to private school, have private health cover, like to travel and live in a nice suburb with like-minded people who don’t  want under privileged  or “different” people living next door.

As I said, just like you…

Ah, so are you Liberal or Labour?

Yes