Hiatus

Notice: Further entries in this Blog will be delayed until a new contract has been negotiated between myself and my service provider. I am uncertain if I will have the moral or optical fibre to to sustain an acceptable level of through-put. Only time will shed the necessary light to reveal the truth of this matter...

Black-Out Day (or Changing Religions)

I never really knew him as well as I needed to…

He walked among us but he was different.

He was a man who only said what was necessary.

So many questions with so few answers.

Then the black day arrived, when he was banished from our media life.

Would I live to regret not knowing him better, when the day of judgement arrived?

…

But then I was overcome with righteous joy!

On the third day he would be resurrected in a different incarnation.

He would be the way, the truth and the light would shine brightly on all his words and deeds…

And we would all know who he really was…

And we will hold hands as one and he will preach peace and unity…

We will be in awe of his power…..

And he will gather his disciples close to him and he will cast out the unbelievers

His word will be “The Word” and we will  all walk in his shadow.

He will wash the blood from the seats of power and

He will welcome the money lenders,

For he will be nothing without them…

Isolationism

As the candidate representing Queensland...
Sorry No, I am the candidate for all Australians!
How do you plan to deal with our economic woes?
We will put our unemployed to work at building  a wall.
A wall?
Yes, a great wall! Made of blocks of coal! Around Queensland! Australia!
A black block wall?
Yes!! And the unemployed will paint it white, and put the skeletons of fossilized dinosaurs atop it.
Sort of white wash the problem?
And we will dress our gladiators in brown and gold and they will hurl spears of sugar cane from the top of the wall down at the approaching hoards who want to invade our land of plenty.... and soon nobody will want to come here...
True.

The Economy

What do you see as the major problems with the economy?

Well, obviously the down turn in the mining industry and the high Australian dollar have been major problems… We hoped that housing construction would take up the slack….

So are we too dependent on mining and agricultural exports?

We are very good at building houses….

But who is going to live in these houses?

Hairdressers and baristas are doing well….

What about our manufacturing industry?

I have great respect for our manufacturing industry… Pental, Jimmy Possum, Spring Gully…

Who?
Well, Holden, Toyota, WD & HR Wills...
Ah ha...

Mistaken Identity

I would like to ask you about climate change.
Oh, I just want to talk about “boat people”.
Won’t you talk about our manufacturing industry?
No, I just want to talk about “boat people”.
Why can’t we talk about education, research and development, maybe housing or the aging population?
Because I just want to talk about “boat people”.
OK, so tell me what you are going to do about “boat people”....
Well to begin with I am going to eradicate poverty, starvation and extreme inequality, educate people to tolerate difference and live together in harmony and stop wars so people will be happy to live wherever they are....
Oh, that doesn't sound like your party’s policy!
Sorry, I’m not the candidate! I’m his sound engineer!

Black Holes

The others say your budgeting is full of black holes.

Who do they think they are? Brian Cox?

We are talking about budgeting, not astronomy!

There are no black holes in our budgeting!

The others say it is full of assumptions about future income streams.

Our figures have been evaluated by Treasury economists and they confirm there are no black holes.

You mean by the people who foresaw the GFC?

I didn’t say Treasury astrologists!

So they foresaw the GFC?

The Treasury has economists, not astrologists!

And they don’t see black holes?

No.

Your Interests at Heart

Vote for us, we have your interests at heart.

How do you know my interests?

I am just like you!

Well I am white, middle class, own my own home, car, boat and holiday home, manage a medium sized business, send my children to private school, have private health cover, like to travel and live in a nice suburb with like-minded people who don’t  want under privileged  or “different” people living next door.

As I said, just like you…

Ah, so are you Liberal or Labour?

Yes