The Prime Minister Has Left The Building!

Prime Minister, Prime Minister where are you?

Who are you looking for?

Tony!

Oh, Tony has left the building!

Left his bunker? Does that mean the war is over? He was our war time Prime Minister!

Oh no! Only the battle!

But his army has been routed!

Oh but that does not mean the war is over. The guerrilla war has just begun!

.... But this isn’t Iraq or Afghanistan or Syria!!

And Tony won’t hide in a fox hole in the desert!

God knows where this will end.

Ah, God is Great!

Huh?

Don't Worry About The Future

Hello Prime Minister, How’s it going?

Great. We are in a new phase of good governance!

So, I thought the economy was heading for car crash!

Ah, that’s why we are reinstating support for the car industry…

And reversing other budget cuts? What about Labour’s budgetary black holes?

We want people to be happy!

Will they be happy when they fall into a black hole?

Now don’t you worry about that! That’s far off in the future, laddy!

Sort of like Climate Change?

Yes!

I see, Prime Minister.

Prime Minister Fears Executions

All appeals have failed

The executions are inevitable…

Now…

There's a bicycle comin'

And I'm gonna ride it

I'll rise in the morning

My fate decided it

I'm a dead man cyclin'

I'm a dead man cyclin'

Already broken, already gone
Already know you're moving on
I'm a breathing, talking
Dead man, cycling
Already see it, in your face
Already someone, in my place
I'm a breathing, talking
Dead man, cycling

I hear the media talking talking talking
Now I'm a dead man cycling cycling cycling
I hear the media talking talking talking
Now I'm a dead man.

In the future, the execution will not be televised.
In the future, the execution will not be televised.

In the future, the execution will not be televised?

(with apologies to Springsteen, The Script and G Scott-Heron)

The Knight Prince

Happy New Year Prime Minister!

  Hello!

The war must be going very well!

   Well, yes… it is….

I hear you have a new knight to champion your cause!

   Er…

Yes, Sir Prince!

   Oh, but knighthoods are not political appointments!

And neither are the Royals!

  No!

So what is the point of them?

   Well, they show others what we stand for! And they make us feel good too.

You must be feeling really good then, Prime Minister???

   Hmmm.

A Small Matter of Priorities

Prime Minister, some people are worried about the Government’s priorities…

The Government’s first priority is looking after our national interest.

Does that stop at our borders?

Well Mike, the Government will assess each issue on its merits.

Ah.

We will not waste money on frivolous and unnecessary projects!

You want maximum bang for buck, like bombing Iraq?

Our economy is vulnerable and we must focus on the most important issues!

Not Ebola, Malaria, pollution, climate change, species extinction?

We will not put our citizens at risk by committing them to deal with these problems….

So who will?

We are just a small country, with a fragile economy that mainly relies on selling natural resources to China and we can do very little….

So just a couple of bombs?

Yeah….

Putative Problem

Hello Prime Minister,

Hi Sport!

I understand we are having another review of our training system.

Yes, we need to get back basics…           

Back to basics?

Yes, our education system is in disarray.

So, not teaching the three Rs is the putative reason our education system has crashed?

Pardon? Putin has nothing to do with it!

Prime Minister, How do you spell “Diplomacy”?

S...h…i...

Umm. I said “Diplomacy”.

Listen Sport, I’m the captain of this team and if I decide to spell a word my way, then that’s how we spell it! Right!? Now out of my way …

Yes Prime Minister!

More about drones...

Hello again Minister!

Hello Mike, Pleased to be with you!

I’d like to ask you about some operational matters….

The government does not discuss operational matters….

But you have announced that our Ipod controlled drones have been flying over Iraq…

Yes.

And they did nothing?

The government does not discuss operational matters….

There was an announcement that they could not distinguish the goodies from the baddies, so they returned to base.

Hmm, but the government does not discuss operational matters….

Do you think this was a face recognition software glitch or something else??

Are you saying we only judge the enemy by their appearance?

No, I am asking for facts!

We have discussed this problem with Apple and they are preparing a special software upgrade for us called 10.0 …

Isn’t that Microsoft’s new operating system?

The Australian government demanded we only have latest and greatest, so Apple said they would give us 10.0 …

So this should solve the problem?

The government does not discuss operational matters….but we hope so…

Really?