Black Holes revisited

Prime Minister, do you remember when in August last year I talked to you about Budgeting and Black Holes?
Black Holes??
Yes...
Black Holes? No...
Surely you remember! You said your budgeting contained no Black Holes...
Black....   Black Holes.....  Can't say I do..... Totally blacked out on that one...
Hmm, away with the stars...

Crisis!

Did you know we are at war?

We are?

Yes, no doubt about it! At war with DEBT, at war with DRUGS, at war with BOAT PEOPLE, at war with INTERNET CRIMINALS, at war with LIBERAL EDUCATIONISTS, at war with BIKIES and at war with UNIONS….  At war with our OPPONENTS.

So that’s why we need strike fighters, war time taxation and austerity measures?

Absolutely….

So you are a war-time prime minister!

The one Australia needs!

And you will bring peace?

Hell no! I would lose my job…

The Economy continued....

So Prime Minister, you promised not to increase taxes or introduce new ones….

Have you forgotten about core promises and non-core promises?

I think you said they were a thing of the past!

Some things are set in stone.

Like core promises?

No, I mean “core promises and non-core promises”…

So this is politics. Does that mean it is OK to lie?

No I think people wouldn’t like that… but you can’t  always tell people what is good for them…

So you lie to them?

No, but it is OK to scare people shitless…

What do you mean by that? Is that policy?

I’m not sure… I just thought of it…

To be continued…

Deja Vu

So how does it feel to be Prime Minister after five months in power?

Great! It’s like riding a bike!

How so?

You get on it, put your head down and your bum up and you pedal like mad!

So how do you know where you’re going?

Ah, you look in the rear-view mirror!

You do?

Yes and you see all the great Party leaders and their past policies guiding you…

Into the future?

Yes it is a brave new world!

Just like the old one?

Yes!

Ah, so now I understand….

Hiatus

Notice: Further entries in this Blog will be delayed until a new contract has been negotiated between myself and my service provider. I am uncertain if I will have the moral or optical fibre to to sustain an acceptable level of through-put. Only time will shed the necessary light to reveal the truth of this matter...

Black-Out Day (or Changing Religions)

I never really knew him as well as I needed to…

He walked among us but he was different.

He was a man who only said what was necessary.

So many questions with so few answers.

Then the black day arrived, when he was banished from our media life.

Would I live to regret not knowing him better, when the day of judgement arrived?

…

But then I was overcome with righteous joy!

On the third day he would be resurrected in a different incarnation.

He would be the way, the truth and the light would shine brightly on all his words and deeds…

And we would all know who he really was…

And we will hold hands as one and he will preach peace and unity…

We will be in awe of his power…..

And he will gather his disciples close to him and he will cast out the unbelievers

His word will be “The Word” and we will  all walk in his shadow.

He will wash the blood from the seats of power and

He will welcome the money lenders,

For he will be nothing without them…

Isolationism

As the candidate representing Queensland...
Sorry No, I am the candidate for all Australians!
How do you plan to deal with our economic woes?
We will put our unemployed to work at building  a wall.
A wall?
Yes, a great wall! Made of blocks of coal! Around Queensland! Australia!
A black block wall?
Yes!! And the unemployed will paint it white, and put the skeletons of fossilized dinosaurs atop it.
Sort of white wash the problem?
And we will dress our gladiators in brown and gold and they will hurl spears of sugar cane from the top of the wall down at the approaching hoards who want to invade our land of plenty.... and soon nobody will want to come here...
True.