Wednesday, October 15, 2014

A Small Matter of Priorities

Prime Minister, some people are worried about the Government’s priorities…
The Government’s first priority is looking after our national interest.
Does that stop at our borders?
Well Mike, the Government will assess each issue on its merits.
We will not waste money on frivolous and unnecessary projects!
You want maximum bang for buck, like bombing Iraq?
Our economy is vulnerable and we must focus on the most important issues!
Not Ebola, Malaria, pollution, climate change, species extinction?
We will not put our citizens at risk by committing them to deal with these problems….
So who will?
We are just a small country, with a fragile economy that mainly relies on selling natural resources to China and we can do very little….
So just a couple of bombs?

Monday, October 13, 2014

Putative Problem

Hello Prime Minister,
Hi Sport!
I understand we are having another review of our training system.
Yes, we need to get back basics…           
Back to basics?
Yes, our education system is in disarray.
So, not teaching the three Rs is the putative reason our education system has crashed?
Pardon? Putin has nothing to do with it!
Prime Minister, How do you spell “Diplomacy”?
Umm. I said “Diplomacy”.
Listen Sport, I’m the captain of this team and if I decide to spell a word my way, then that’s how we spell it! Right!? Now out of my way …
Yes Prime Minister!

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

More about drones...

Hello again Minister!
Hello Mike, Pleased to be with you!
I’d like to ask you about some operational matters….
The government does not discuss operational matters….
But you have announced that our Ipod controlled drones have been flying over Iraq…
And they did nothing?
The government does not discuss operational matters….
There was an announcement that they could not distinguish the goodies from the baddies, so they returned to base.
Hmm, but the government does not discuss operational matters….
Do you think this was a face recognition software glitch or something else??
Are you saying we only judge the enemy by their appearance?
No, I am asking for facts!
We have discussed this problem with Apple and they are preparing a special software upgrade for us called 10.0 …
Isn’t that Microsoft’s new operating system?
The Australian government demanded we only have latest and greatest, so Apple said they would give us 10.0 …
So this should solve the problem?
The government does not discuss operational matters….but we hope so…