Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Our ABC, QI

Prime Minister?
Yes?
I heard you are writing a guide book to the new ABC?
It is not called the ABC guide book!
No?
It’s called QI, ABC.
I repeat QI
I repeat QI
I repeat QI
I repeat QI
I repeat QI
I repeat QI
Oh, I see, nothing else?

No.

The War Continues

Hello Prime Minister!
Hello!
How is our war-time Prime Minister going?
Excellent!
Does it feel  good to be at war with everybody?
Good for me and good for the country!
Truly?
Yes, my father always said that young people have become too soft. They really need another war to toughen them and teach them what life is all about!
But innocent people suffer and die in wars!
For the greater good!
And nobody truly wins, except big business…
And this is good for the country….

Are you sure, Prime Minister?

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

The Aging Population Problem

So Prime Minister, our aging population is a major problem for your budgeting?
Don’t you worry about that now…
But I’m an aging baby boomer. I am concerned for my future!
No worries. We have had an enquiry and have a solution.
A solution?
Yes, it’s called the Pacific Solution.
But that’s for Boat People!
And it worked for them! Baby boomers like to travel and we think they will like to spend their retirement years in Asia. They will be much cheaper to support there…. I mean living expenses and medical costs will be far less. The Asians will barely notice a few Australian retirees. I mean our numbers are barely significant compared with their populations. And think of the contribution the wealthy retirees will make to the local economies! There will be no argument.
And if they don’t want to go?
Ah well, we have places we don’t use any more, where we can put them…
You have?

Yes, you know. Inverbrackie, Villawood, Port Augusta, Port Hedland….. and many others!